Momming Is Hard

Can we all just take a minute and acknowledge that being a parent is hard? Like, why do we always have to compete with each other? I cannot make my two boys gourmet meals every day. For lunch, we had peanut butter and jelly, Cheetos, and a Capri Sun. Did this cover the food groups? Nope. It didn’t even touch on half of them. I didn’t cut the sandwiches into cool shapes and the Capri Sun probably had  too much sugar in it. But I don’t give a shit. Why? Because momming is hard!

My kids are wearing clothes that I purchased from garage sales and shoes from Walmart. Why? Because they destroy everything that touches their body and that shit is expensive! Are they any less happy because I didn’t pick up their clothes from Baby Gap or wherever parents buy expensive shit for their kids? Nope. They don’t have a clue, because I’m trying not to raise assholes for kids.

When I sit at the school, waiting for my son to come outside, I observe the kids around me. It is interesting to see which kids probably got to pick their clothes and which ones had to wear what their parent picked for them, because it was name brand and makes them look like they have money. My son is running around in super hero graphic tees while his peers are wearing Under Armor t-shirts that probably cost triple what my son’s shirt cost because it came from Walmart.

I want to shape what kind of adults my children become as in I don’t want them to be mean people. I want them to respect people, be kind, generous, and honest. I, however, do not want to take away their individuality. I want them to dress in clothes that they like because they like how they look or they like the character on them because the item of clothing is a representation of who they are. I do not want them to wear certain clothing because the item makes us appear to have money or because all of the other kids at school are wearing that brand. This is the kind of stuff they will worry about in junior high and high school. Why does it have to happen now when they are in elementary school?

I recently went on a field trip with my son. We stopped at a park at the end of the day so the kids could play. One of the “super moms” came over to chat with me. She was droning on and on about how she has been told that she packs the best cold lunches. She talked about how she packs these gourmet, nutritious, well-thought-out cold lunches and that her kids just love them. Whole grain pita wraps with light mayo, crisp romaine leaf lettuce, and deli-fresh lunchmeats and the finest cheeses. I didn’t know what the hell to say. So in my nervousness and unfiltered mouth, I say that my son’s favorite cold lunch is pancakes. She looks at me sort of crookedly and says “you wake up and make your son pancakes and put them in his lunch? How do you keep them warm?” Ha. I’ve already given away the fact that I am not in her league by spewing out that I send pancakes in my son’s lunchbox, I might as well spew out the rest of my honest answer. “No. They are microwavable. I microwave them in the morning and send them in his lunchbox. They are probably room temp by the time he gets to lunch, but he loves them.” She looks at me as though I had just confessed that we in fact, live in a van by the river. All I could do was laugh in my head.

Momming is hard. We can’t all prepare the finest meals for our children and dress them in today’s designer jeans. I’ll be damned if I buy my son a pair of jeans for $100, only for him to grow out of them the next month or tear them to shreds playing outside. Kudos to the moms who do all of these things, but that is not me. I work full-time, go to college full-time, and try to be a decent wife, mom, and housekeeper. I like to think that as long as my kids are healthy, happy, and intelligent, that is enough. As long as you are genuinely trying to do your best, play with your kids, foster their imaginations, try to teach them not to be assholes, and to be nice to everyone, isn’t that enough?