I have been clean from Facebook for almost two weeks. I say "clean" like it was a drug addiction because that is exactly what it was. I don't mean clean as in I just deleted the app from my phone, I mean that I deleted the app from my phone and have not look at it but one time. The one time I did "relapse" I immediately regretted it because it took over my mind once again as soon as I opened it. Luckily, I recognized the feeling and knew that I was making a huge mistake and shut it down quick. I now know that if I am going to quit Facebook, I have to quit Facebook for real. I researched quitting Facebook quite a bit before I did it. There were so many aspects of my life that were influenced by Facebook and I didn't even know it. My mind is clearer. I feel more connected to the world now. This probably seems strange given that the whole world seems to function, only by using Facebook, but I am now more aware.
I am now aware of how many times I told my kids to "hold on" because I was too busy updating my status, reading someone's posts, or searching for validation by the number or likes and comments I got on my most recent selfie. It now breaks my heart. I thought that that the number of likes and comments I would receive on my photos and statuses would make me feel better about myself, when in fact, they were only making me feel worse. When people wouldn't comment or like my photos and statuses and especially when my husband wouldn't like or comment on my photos and statuses, my self-esteem would take a huge blow. They must not think I'm pretty or funny. My husband must have no interest in me. This may seem silly, but this is truly how people feel and think even if they do not notice it! I didn't notice it until my mind was clear and rid of Facebook. I was no longer doing things for myself or to make myself feel good, I was doing and saying things in hopes that my "friends" on Facebook would make me feel good about myself and the things that I do. I was no longer doing things because I actually enjoy them.
I feel as though Facebook contributes to so many problems in our world. Relationship problems, self-esteem issues, suicide, bullying, parenting issues, and so much more. I was letting Facebook dictate my feelings on what kind of person my husband should be, what kind of mom I should be, what I should look like, how my home should look, because that is what I saw on Facebook. If everyone in the world says that is how something should be, that's how it should be, right? If all of these females on Facebook say that my husband should write superficial, cheesy, and public things to me on Facebook or he doesn't love me, that is true, right? Wrong. This is ridiculous! I have a husband who loves me and tells me daily TO MY FACE, goes to work everyday, kisses me every time he leaves the house, lets me do and purchase anything I want, hardly ever tells me no to anything I want, spends time with me, spends money on me, goes places with me, cuddles with me on the couch, cuddles with me in bed every night, and enjoys my company and I am worried about him sending me a digital message on Facebook for validation? It sounds crazy when I actually say this and type it out, but that was truly my thought process while I was "hooked on Facebook" because this is how Facebook says a husband should treat his wife.
I hope someone who feels the way that I felt sees this blog post and decided to give it a try. If you are struggling in your relationship or struggling with your self-esteem, I urge you to try giving up Facebook. There is so much life outside of Facebook. It is possible to live without it and, in my case, feel so much better after quitting. It's so refreshing. You get your mind back. You are able to think for yourself again. You can feel your own feelings and begin to appreciate the little things again. It is hard. Facebook is a drug and it is an addiction. Quitting is not easy. In fact, it has been more of a challenge for me to quit Facebook than it was for me to quit smoking. Facebook is everywhere. Facebook is used by everyone. Chances are, you will be the only one in your house to quit, but you have to be ready to quit for yourself, not others. I challenge you to give it a try! Not a day or a couple of days, but give it a real try and I promise you will begin to feel so much better.
I know this post is all over the place, but I have so many more thoughts and ideas floating around in my head since quitting Facebook and I finally found a way to get them all out. This is my new Facebook, where I don't care if people are reading this or liking this. This is an outlet to let out all of my feelings and ideas that bog up my brain. :)
I am now aware of how many times I told my kids to "hold on" because I was too busy updating my status, reading someone's posts, or searching for validation by the number or likes and comments I got on my most recent selfie. It now breaks my heart. I thought that that the number of likes and comments I would receive on my photos and statuses would make me feel better about myself, when in fact, they were only making me feel worse. When people wouldn't comment or like my photos and statuses and especially when my husband wouldn't like or comment on my photos and statuses, my self-esteem would take a huge blow. They must not think I'm pretty or funny. My husband must have no interest in me. This may seem silly, but this is truly how people feel and think even if they do not notice it! I didn't notice it until my mind was clear and rid of Facebook. I was no longer doing things for myself or to make myself feel good, I was doing and saying things in hopes that my "friends" on Facebook would make me feel good about myself and the things that I do. I was no longer doing things because I actually enjoy them.
I feel as though Facebook contributes to so many problems in our world. Relationship problems, self-esteem issues, suicide, bullying, parenting issues, and so much more. I was letting Facebook dictate my feelings on what kind of person my husband should be, what kind of mom I should be, what I should look like, how my home should look, because that is what I saw on Facebook. If everyone in the world says that is how something should be, that's how it should be, right? If all of these females on Facebook say that my husband should write superficial, cheesy, and public things to me on Facebook or he doesn't love me, that is true, right? Wrong. This is ridiculous! I have a husband who loves me and tells me daily TO MY FACE, goes to work everyday, kisses me every time he leaves the house, lets me do and purchase anything I want, hardly ever tells me no to anything I want, spends time with me, spends money on me, goes places with me, cuddles with me on the couch, cuddles with me in bed every night, and enjoys my company and I am worried about him sending me a digital message on Facebook for validation? It sounds crazy when I actually say this and type it out, but that was truly my thought process while I was "hooked on Facebook" because this is how Facebook says a husband should treat his wife.
I hope someone who feels the way that I felt sees this blog post and decided to give it a try. If you are struggling in your relationship or struggling with your self-esteem, I urge you to try giving up Facebook. There is so much life outside of Facebook. It is possible to live without it and, in my case, feel so much better after quitting. It's so refreshing. You get your mind back. You are able to think for yourself again. You can feel your own feelings and begin to appreciate the little things again. It is hard. Facebook is a drug and it is an addiction. Quitting is not easy. In fact, it has been more of a challenge for me to quit Facebook than it was for me to quit smoking. Facebook is everywhere. Facebook is used by everyone. Chances are, you will be the only one in your house to quit, but you have to be ready to quit for yourself, not others. I challenge you to give it a try! Not a day or a couple of days, but give it a real try and I promise you will begin to feel so much better.
I know this post is all over the place, but I have so many more thoughts and ideas floating around in my head since quitting Facebook and I finally found a way to get them all out. This is my new Facebook, where I don't care if people are reading this or liking this. This is an outlet to let out all of my feelings and ideas that bog up my brain. :)
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